The Final Score

Read all about Bizarro Kenny Anderson here.

Who's next?

Bizarro Tate George?

Last Friday I experienced my worst drive to Yankee Stadium. Ever.

It took me more than two hours to go the 45 or so miles, a drive that usually takes me less than an hour. And the only reason I made it there that quickly was because I abandoned the parking lot named the Grand Central Parkway around LaGuardia, backtracked to the 59th Street bridge and drove through Harlem and back-doored my way to the Stadium. Funny thing is, I maneuvered the roads with ease because of the run I did from Yankee Stadium to Shea two months ago.

Anyway, when I mentioned this online to Anthony today, he wondered what the worst commutes are for Long Island sports fans. Here's what we came up with:

1. Going to Jets camp in Florham Park, N.J.: Jets fans won't have to deal with this until training camp next year. But I'm going on Friday and I'll make sure to report back on all the fun involved in going that deep into the Jersey suburbs.

2. Going to Giants Stadium for a Monday night game: It's rush hour and you're going to hit traffic everywhere you go. Enjoy!

3. Leaving Giants Stadium after any NFL game: Even though it's Sunday evening in the fall and no one is on the road, it's going to take you two hours or more to leave Giants Stadium and get back to Long Island.

To/from Yankee stadium mid-week day game: You'll hit the tail end of the morning rush on your way to the stadium and when you leave it's full-fledged evening rush.

To/from Shea during the U.S. Open: They suggest taking mass transit to Shea for a reason. To avoid the Grand Central Parkway.

Newsday has a U.S. Open blog set up where all of us here will be posting.

So if you like your Final Score with only a sprinkle of tennis, no problem. I'll only post a few items about the U.S. Open here. But all of my items will be on the U.S. Open blog.

Here's the link. Surf at your own risk!

... so please patronize our favorite Web sites, so they'll link to us, too.

I didn't watch the Mixed Martial Arts on CBS on Saturday -- I also wouldn't watch boxing or cockfighting if they aired that -- but apparently a lot of people did. So be it.

I did notice a column here that says CBS messed up the grand ole sport of MMA. So I guess this writer is a bit of an MMA purist. It's kind of the way baseball purists must have felt the first time they heard Howard Cosell on "Monday Night Baseball" on ABC.

UPDATE, MONDAY, 11:25 a.m.: For a more mature look at this MMA event, check out Neil Best's blog. Neil has been very generous so far about allowing us to venture into his media arena. I think if you in injected him with truth serum, however, he would like all blogs other than his own to cease immediately.

All of the intense scrutiny of Big Brown's hoof reminds me of the classic scene from "Goodfellas"

Tommy's Mother: "Where've you been?"
Tommy: "Mom, I've been working nights."
Tommy's Mother: "And?"
Tommy: "And, well, tonight we were out late. We took a ride on the-- out to the country and we hit one of those deers. And that's where all the blood came from. I told you. Jimmy told you before. Anyway, that reminds me, Ma, I need this knife. I'm gonna take this, it's okay?"
Tommy's Mother: "Okay, yeah"
Tommy: "I just need it for a lttle while."
Tommy's Mother: "But bring it back. You know?"
Tommy: "Well, the poor thing, it got-- I hit him and this, uh-- We hit the deer and his paw-- What do you call that?"
Tommy's Mother: "The paw?"
Tommy: "The paw, the..."
Tommy's Mother: "The foot."
Jimmy: "The hoof."
Tommy: "Yeah, the hoof got caught in the grill and I gotta, I gotta hack it off."
Tommy's Mother: "Ooh."
Tommy: "Ah, Ma, it's a sin, I can't leave it there, you know."

To this day I can't hear or read the word "hoof" without thinking "you know . . . the paw . . . the foot".

The picture above is a graphic from USA Today.

Carrie Bradshaw discovers the newly reissued Bob Cousy All-American PF Flyers and dumps her entire collection of Manolo Blahniks.

The guy who delivers this massive hit is Neil Best. But not this Neil Best.

There are at least four other people named Jim Baumbach that I know of. One of them claims to have been on the cutting edge of this thing called the Internet. Another one is a politician in Philadelphia. And yet another lives on Long Island. We're all not related.

Hundreds strip for naked photo shoot in Austria
1 day ago

VIENNA, Austria (AP) — The man behind the camera had three requests for his subjects: no sunglasses, no smiling, and no underwear.

The latest work by New York photographer Spencer Tunick gathered 1,840 people, baring it all in Austria's Happel Stadium on Sunday.

"Stay very still. Don't move," the Austria Press Agency quoted Tunick as telling the crowd as he went to work.

Much of the hours-long photo shoot had little to do with soccer, with naked volunteers assuming different poses at the behest of the artist. But at least one of the photos had them with the ball, men first and then the women.

The stadium will host seven of the Euro 2008 soccer championship matches being staged by Austria and Switzerland, including the June 29 final.

Tunick has made a name for himself with his works featuring hundreds of naked people at unusual venues. He described Sunday's shooting on his Web site as combining "the spirit of sports, the grand sweeping waves of stadium architecture and the abstract relation of the human form to modern structures."

It's the title of a new book. Calm down.

From the AP via ESPN.com:

A memorabilia dealer who profited from O.J. Simpson for many years is the latest former crony to write a tell-all book, this one alleging a groggy Simpson, high on marijuana, confessed to killing his ex-wife after he was acquitted.

Here's the rest of the story.

Did you guys see Republican congressman Vito Fossella, of Staten Island, is facing driving while intoxicated charges?

This was the same guy who made a foof of himself at the congressional hearing in which the commissioners and union heads were questioned about steroids. Here's my live blog from that day, and in my last post I reference how Fossella, as the self-proclaimed voice of Jets fans, asked Roger Goodell about SpyGate. Legit question, yes. But wrong time, wrong place.

Then after the hearing was over, this guy basically sprinted from his seat to shake hands with David Stern. "I just want to thank you for your testimony," Vito told him. Stern whispered, "I'm a Giants fan." And they had a big laugh.

We don't do much soccer here at the Final Score. But here's an item about soccer star Ronaldo that I was tipped off to by my soccer-loving pal Out of Botte (author of the hit book "Fish Sticks" with Newsday's Alan Hahn. Soon to be a major motion picture. Or not.)

Anyway, here's the item:

Rio de Janeiro (dpa) - Brazilian striker Ronaldo decided to keep to himself at his Rio de Janeiro home Tuesday, following a scandal involving transvestites who worked as prostitutes.

Ronaldo's advisors told Brazilian sports website Globo Esporte that the Milan striker cancelled planned appearances at two television programmes and asked physiotherapist Bruno Mazziotti to continue treating his injured left knee at his home.

Here's the link to the rest of the sordid story:

Just saw this one about a triathlete who was killed by a shark. Apparently the sharks mistook him for a seal because of the wet suit he was wearing. Crazy.

FROM THE LA TIMES AND THE AP

SOLANA BEACH, Calif. — A shark attacked and killed a 66-year-old triathlete Friday, biting his legs as he swam in a group off Solana Beach, a city about 20 miles northwest of San Diego, authorities said.

Authorities identified the man as Dave Martin, a retired veterinarian who has lived in Solana Beach since 1970.

Richard Rosenblatt, a shark expert and professor emeritus at the Scripps Institution of Oceanography, said "this almost certainly was a great white shark."

He said that the attack fit the pattern of attacking from beneath and moving away, and that the wounds looked as if they came from a great white shark. He added that the shark was probably between 12 and 17 feet long.

The swimmers were wearing wetsuits.

"We think it was mistaken identity" because sharks hunt based on "silhouettes," Rosenblatt said. "A human swimmer is not too unlike a seal."

FHM magazine has decided who the 100 sexiest women in the world are. As a service, here are the women who have sports ties:

2. Jessica Alba (dated Derek Jeter)
4. Elisha Cuthbert (dated Sean Avery)
13. Jessica Biel (dated Derek Jeter)
14. Eva Longoria (married to Tony Parker)
17. Beyonce (married to Nets part-owner Jay-Z
26. Jessica Simpson (ruined Tony Romo's career)
30. Maria Sharapova
45. Halle Berry (used to be married to David Justice)
69. Mandy Moore (didn't she used to date Andy Roddick?)
81. Anna Kournikova
98. Victoria Beckham

Megan Fox is No. 1. I don't know who she is, but that is a picture of her above.

There are probably more tie-ins to sports on the list that I am not aware of. Feel free to enlighten me and we'll add them.

FHM.com is going to get more than 1,514 hits today.

UPDATE, 12:36 p.m., from commenter Andrew:

8. Hillary Duff dates Islanders Mike Comrie
23. Ana Ivanovic is a pro-tennis player
52. Carmen Electra was married to Dennis Rodman
58. Marissa Miller was on the cover of SI this year
74. Stacy Keibler- Newsday considers wrestling a sports blog

Thanks, Andrew!