The grossest thing I've ever seen at a football game
I realize I'm taking a risk here, because this story will certainly turn the stomachs of some readers. But my younger brother Mickey, a huge Jets fan who witnessed what I'm about to tell you, suggested I was a wimp for not putting it in as a post. So I will buck up and write it. 
I also realize that there might be quite a few new readers just getting to our site, since my man Neil Best said he was going to link to our blog to let folks know about our Imus news. If you're new to this site and are just looking for info on I-man, then scroll down and DO NOT READ ANY MORE OF THIS!
Anyway, Mickey - who is named after Mickey Mantle, my sports hero growing up - had Jets' season tickets for years, and I would try and meet him in the parking lot at his tailgate whenever possible. One day a few years ago, I showed up at parking section 4H to hang out with Mickey and his buddies before going to the press box. (No, I did not drink beers.)
A few feet away from our group were a couple of guys who were unusually rowdy. Mickey said these guys were always a bit over the top in their pre-game celebrations, which included large quantities of libations and food.
On this particular day, one of the guys, who wore a hat in the shape of an artichoke, had already consumed too much of the libations, and would alternately chug a bottle of beer and then barf. Chug-barf. Chug-barf. It was foul.
But for the man nicknamed "Artichoke Head," it was about to get much worse.
Not one to waste an opportunity to tailgate, he refused to give in to his pre-game "illness" and decided to "play hurt," just like his football heroes. Between heaves, "Artie" would cook up a bunch of sausages for the gang.
At one point, he grabbed one of the sausages off the grill, tossed it up in the air, and tried to catch it in his mouth. He missed, and it fell to the ground.
He then bent down, picked up the sausage, held it aloft, and yelled "J-E-T-S Jets! Jets! Jets!"
He then dipped the sausage into his own ... um ... uh ... his own puke ... as if it were some sort of salsa.
And then, he ate it.
...
Oh, my goodness ...
(Mickey - whom we often referred to in our childhood as "Muke-us Puke-us" - believes that "Artichoke Head" was probably some sort of high-powered investment banker who went to work the next morning and told his office staff all about how great it is to have Jets season tickets.)
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Comments (25)
And you wonder why Giants Stadium during Jets games came in last for fan atmosphere in the SI.com poll this week. Egad!
Gridder Tom:
Do you think you will ever eat sausage again?
Thanks. That made me more sick to my stomach than the Jets 4th quarter chokes this season.
That was an awesome story!
I'm confused...was the Artichoke guy actually Imus?
Good post by Gross...(could that be your real name?)
Bob...these are the kinds of stories we want...
Can't wait for this one to scroll off... Blech.
nothing more gross than watchin hookslide drool out of the side of his mouth while a racoon dined in his lap!
I like artichokes...Used to anyway...sausages are disgusting.
Hookslide, you sound like you have mental problems.
You need supervision...why don't you find a different blog...
More Imus...Less Hookslide
Hookslide, you are rapidly becoming the most hated man on this blog.
Keep up the good work!
We appreciate the recognition.
How do you know I am a man?
Because a woman would never call me some of the things you've called me. I can tell about these things.
I am not certain that Hookslide is a man.
My guess is that he (or she) has been on both sides of the buffet table.
just sayin'
Hey Hammer...
I got your buffet table right here.
It so happens that I am a man...and what I did in college once or twice when I was drunk is none of your business...so back off....
Let's get to the real issue here...Bob is 18 games under .500 against the spread...
go jets
That is the best tailgate story I have seen or heard...nice...
I can't even be grossed out by it because it's so off the wall. Crazy.
hookslide is a man in touch with his feminine side.
Can Hooklside be blocked form the blog?
He makes me nervous.
McLovin - 4 Prez
http://youtube.com/watch?v=7jjnqrBxjbc
Hammer:
No need to ban Hookslide ... at least not yet. We'll keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't go over the edge. So far, he has just teetered on the brink.
I was there. (Friend of Mickey's). But the sausage didn't taste that bad. Kind of like using rancid ketchup.
Steve Miller:
Oh, my.
the fly like an eagle kind, or the pataki?
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whoa! i have somethin a bit more fouler.
Dont believe me then I DONT CARE.
My friend Timmy Robinson was a daredevil. Anything you dared
the dude to do.....HE WOULD DO IT. (example) he even went and
kissed some old woman gardening.
Well we were at his house throwing back a few sodas from the
cans and tuning in to some comedy central. He went up and said
to me, "WANNA SEE SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY IS
COMEDIC?". I sadly said "Yep". He went into the kitchen and
brought out two carrots. A long one and a short one. "Witch one?"
he said. I picked the long one. He gave me the short one and
headed to the bathromm with the long one. After a few minutes of
"good ol" comedy central. he came back with his hand behind his
back. he looked at me and said "This is to you". i held up my
carrot and so did he, but his carrot was covered in brown stuff.
gross. " What is that?" i asked. And Timmy delightfully said
"CRAP!" he then looked up at the ceiling, held up the carrot
and licked the carrots "brown stuff" all around.
Well after 8 days of him being hospitalized, he was okay.
I still hangout with Timmy. But i know i may never forget
that day.
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