BBiB! speaks! Here's what's wrong with youth sports
We offered long-time blog reader and commenter "Big Ben is Back!", whom we now refer to simply as "BBiB!" a chance to guest blog as a reward for his brilliant work in keeping score on our various contests. .jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.chlittleleague.com/coachescorner.html&h=336&w=353&sz=26&hl=en&start=25&tbnid=NDve1aAq2vGRNM:&tbnh=115&tbnw=121&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlittle%2Bleague%2Bplayers%26start%3D20%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN)
And here we go with his rant on all that's wrong with youth sports in this country.
(It's a very interesting read, and please feel free to comment - both for and against - to let BBiB! get a taste of what life's like in the blogosphere.)
The Problem with Youth Sports Today
This post is brought to you today by BBiB! as I cash in my ‘thanks for tracking the NFL Draft and NFL Playoffs for me’ reward from BG.
By no means can the idea I espouse below be considered original, but it is meant to stir up ‘conversation’ amongst the parents out there whose youth are participating in sports. If I’m ever granted a second guest posting, I’ll try to drum up interest in some guilty pleasure banter. I’ve learned some very useful information about our resident NFL Guru, BG, that you should all get a kick out of.
Ok, so, it’s the first day of 9-10 year old Little League and yours truly, BBiB!, is managing a team of spirited boys. I figure by this age, the boys will be ready to compete and be excited about winning and playing in the playoffs and for a championship. I introduce myself and meet the players before asking if there are any questions before beginning our first practice. The one and only question I received summed up the problem with American youth sports perfectly, “Hey Coach, when do we get our trophies?” If I could have, I would have slapped that entitled boy silly. Instead I cringed and looked forward to another of season of “nice try”s and “atta boy”s for every little accomplishment.
You see, the town I live in is very much Anywhere, USA and we promote ‘participation’ and ‘building self-esteem’. To which I say, “thanks, but no thanks.” We’re ruining kids and we’re ruining sports with that attitude. It is crap and nowhere near resembling real life. Bill Gates once gave a great speech to a graduating class that has made its way around the ‘net in recent years outlining how life isn’t fair and you don’t get promotions or bonuses for showing up and doing your job. You must do it well and you must excel. Life has winners and losers. We all know who they are. It’s easy to spot them. Arizona Cardinals? Losers. I’ll bet their whole team had shelves full of ‘Participation Trophies’ when they were kids. The New England Patriots on the other hand had players with ‘Championship Winner’ trophies on their shelves – right next to their spy glasses and x-ray vision goggles most likely.
We need to stop babying our children when it comes to sports. When my daughter’s 11 and 12 year old softball team plays 2 games a week and no one even bothers keeping score, there’s an issue. Why doesn’t winning matter? Why aren’t we instilling a winning attitude in our kids today? Hey, they can still show up and participate just for fun. And if they don’t work at it and practice hard and try to learn the game, they’ll participate and go 0-12 and watch the team that did practice hard and try their best get a big, fat trophy at the end of the year. Tis the way of the world. Winning doesn’t have to be the end all be all. But only the winners should be able to be recognized for their outstanding play. Not Junior who never bothered to learn how to catch properly and still whined all year about ‘not playing first base’ anyway.
I can make an exception for 5 and 6 year olds and maybe up to 7 or so. Those kids need to learn the game basics and generate a love for the game before any kind of reward is tied to performance. But they all get report cards with grades on it. We as parents expect and hope they do well. Those grades are a performance rating they need to earn.
Let’s start making them earn their trophies too.
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Comments (13)
BBiB,
Take if from someone who spent 15 years or so "in the trenches" of Little League....as coach, umpire, parent, field prepper, board member etc....most importantly VOLUNTEER.
Do yourself a favor and invest in the book "Little League Confidential" by Bill Geist.
He answers your question about the "Problem with Youth Sports" very succinctly.
And BTW, I agree with you wholeheartedly about the whole issue of "trophies", I shocked a team Mom my 1st year as a Softball Coach for my daughter's team when she asked me about trophies and I replied "For what? They haven't won anything that deserves a trophy yet".
That went over like a lead balloon and I was QUICKLY outvoted by all the parents.
Just as quickly as I was outvoted on the entire "snacks after the game" issue. Yet another pet peeve of mine.
(When and where the hell was it written in the Little League Handbook that parents have to supply a cooler full of junkfood to 12-13 kids a coupla times a week? I'm trying to exhaust these kids, burn some calories and next thing I know there's a cooler full of Kool-Aid and twinkies next to the dugout).
BBiB... good points all...
I just want to add this though... for all that's wrong with "Youth Sports" there are always those moments that make you just sit back and go "Wow".
John Challis Rules!
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08125/878966-85.stm
B and G!!!
I am verklempt
BandG,
Awesome, awesome article. John Challis does indeed rule. I doubt he would even accept a participation trophy. I'm forwarding this article to all my negative friends.
Islander55: I outlawed team snacks 2 years ago when my boys were 7. I hate it too. I simply state at the beginning of the year, "If your child would like a snack at the end of the game, please bring him one. No one should be burdened supplying the entire team with a snack after every game." The parents actually like that one because invariably someone has to leave the game to run to a local store to buy the snacks they forget to get. Juice boxes and cheetos for everyone!
BG,
I'm interested in your response. As a parent and avid follower of the NFL and NHL, your opinion on when we should instill a sense of competition in our children should be interesting.
And thanks for the chance to 'be famous' for a day!
BBiB!
"your opinion on when we should instill a sense of competition in our children should be interesting."
I'm all for "in-utero". Nothing healthier than a pair of twins scrambling to be the first one to explode into the world.
(In the case of boys they spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in there anyway).
"(In the case of boys they spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in there anyway)."
Which reminds me of an classic Casey Stengel quote.
When asked by a reporter if he thought that the late night extra curricular activities that were RUMORED to be occurring among his players (Mantle, Ford, Martin etc) were affecting their play on the field, Casey replied..
"It ain't the sex that's affecting these guys.....it's the looking for it".
BBiB!
I'm a bit less intense as far as the competition is concerned, although I'm all for kids learning to win, wanting to win and trying to win.
I just think it's more complicated than simply winning.
I myself coach Miss Emily's recreational softball team in my town, and to me, the first thing is getting the kids to like the sport by getting them to function in the sport. It's about basics, it's about confidence, and it's about learning. Yes, it's about winning, too, but mostly it's about giving your best.
There is nothing I enjoy more as a coach - either in softball or in soccer, the two sports I've coached in my life (although I plan to be a hockey coach when I retire - if there is still time, that is) - than the look in a kid's eye when he or she "get it."
You teach a kid the way it's done, and when he or she does it, it is simply a magical feeling. All coaches should get to experience that feeling. And that transcends winning. That moment when a kid who didn't believe he or she could do it suddenly does it, man, what a feeling.
And I believe that athletes can have that experience at any level.
I have a kid on my softball team who is clearly superior to all the kids in the league, yet there are things that I'd like her to improve on. She had a tendency of slapping at the ball instead of swinging hard, and I've told her that I think she can do much better.
The other night, in her third at-bat, she hit a rope over third base for a double. Beautiful.
That's what I look for as a coach, and that's what I think athletes look for, too. Yes, it is good to win. In fact, I hate losing. Hate it. But the competition is the thing, the participation. Doing it. Or at least trying to do it is where the magic comes in.
Winning is a terrific byproduct of hard work. But sports for its own sake is more important, especially at the youth level.
" But the competition is the thing"
Interesting take BG. But I must ask, what is the competition if the game is not played against the other team? If no score is kept and no competing is done against the other team, are you merely advocating competing againsg one's self? You enjoy competing against Best and Rock etc. It wouldn't be as meaningful if you merely tryting to beat your own page views record now would it. In a rec league I coach in, there are travel players in the same league. I have asked several of them how they like rec compared to travel. The answer always is, "it's boring. We don't even keep score." Guess what? The ones who are good, care and want to keep score. When they are grouped with kids who don't care, it becomes boring, they eventually quit, and the rec leagues become as boring as watching the Dophins offense. So which comes first? The"getting it" and then the competing or the competing to win which translates into "getting it"?
BBiB!
Of course there is competition when you play against another team. And players learn everything about themselves when they play against others.
But in order to compete properly, they need the basic skills to do so. Otherwise, why bother? That's why it's up to coaches to teach kids not only to compete, but HOW to compete. So much of what I see is kids just going out and doing what they think is right, but not getting proper instruction.
How to stand in the batter's box in softball/baseball. How to properly kick a soccer ball. How to execute a snap from center in football. You have to give these kids the basics, allow them to master the skills, and then see it all come together (hopefully) on the field of play.
I think there is a way to teach that without drilling it into a kid's head that he/she has to win-win-win! Of course they want to win. And believe me, these kids know the score, even if it's not kept in lights on a scoreboard.
The issue of travel kids playing rec sports is a different issue. Of course the travel kids are going to be bored, because they've exceeded the skill level of the rec players. It's nice that the travel kids get to play at a more relaxed pace, but if they're bored, it's not the rec players' fault. They're doing the best they can; they simply haven't played enough to reach the skill level of the travel player.
The success of a rec league shouldn't depend on whether the travel players in it are bored or not. It should depend on the quality of coaching and equipping the rec players with the skills they need to progress and get to the next level.
This whole thing with sports is about engaging the kids so they enjoy it, improve, and compete at the same time.
Apparently, it's not happening with enough regularity in this country, because kids are dropping out of sports at an alarming rate. The reasons range from disinterest, to parents pounding it in the kids' heads to win-win-win, to parents living vicariously though their kids and holding unrealistic expectations of their performance.
Man, you could write a book about this stuff.
... actually, MANY books have been written about this stuff.
Great post. I thoroughly enjoyed your perspective. You have put in words, in a very direct way, that many believe the priorities of youth sports is upside down.
A few points to consider:
Often times these programs are run by parents under the "auspicies" of a parks and recreation department. There is no oversight or culture that is driven down from the highest level of a community. Ultimtimately, any culture that is developed stems from the vision of some parent that has been delegated by said Parks and Recreation Department. This individual then drives their perspective and culture throughout the entire program with the help of hand-chosen delegates.
The idea that youth sports should partly prepare children and young adults for the rest of their lives is a strong one. I truly believe in it. Consideration must be given to the idea that the experience should be fun for all kids and that team work is the predominant ideal being taught. All too often this is lost on coaches who are poorly prepared for the responsibility. Further, many parents can't stop themselves from concentrating on the needs of their own child rather than then team. This only leads to a conflicted experience for all concerned.
One final point, have we considered the impact of a generation of children that do not understand the consequence of giving your best effort at all times. The point being that the goal of winning is real but it should not come at the expense of cheating yourself and displaying strong character at all times. In fact, many adults believe you learn more in life from your challenges than your successes. No where else is this lesson taught and experienced more so than in youth sports.
For anyone looking for a real life example of how the experience of youth sports can go wrong check out www.backofthenet.com. This is a soccer blog encompassing youth soccer in the NY metro area. Pay attention to the blogs postings for boys at U13, U14, U15 and U16. If you read through these comments, most of which are written by parents, you will truly be shocked. The lack of class and regard for others is often times missing in action. I believe it is an example of what can occur in our culture if we don't begin to seriously address the issue of how to make youth sports a worthwhile learning experience and fun for everyone involved.
Once again, great post. Bob, When can I have a turn?
SEF:
Glad you enjoyed the content here. Feel free to send in a guest post. (Bob.Glauber@newsday.com.)
I have a feeling this thing will take off in a fun/interesting way.
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