The NFL's newest acronym: PITAWIRE
No, nothing to do with PETA, which is in the news once more after Pres. Barack Obama murdered a fly on national television.
It's my newest acronym to describe some of the most problematic players in today's NFL: wide receivers.
Terrell Owens. Brandon Marshall. Plaxico Burress. Chad Johnson Ochocino (or whatever the hell he wants to be called). Anquan Boldin. Have I missed any?
These players continue to dominate the news, despite the fact they represent a teeny tiny fraction of NFL players. So we've decided to give them their very own nickname, a word that allows us to express our frustration with having the news cycle driven by their assorted legal troubles and other histrionics.
Pain
In
The
Ass
Wide
Receiver
So now, whenever I have to write about any of them (in the blog, anyway; don't think the family newspaper situation will lend itself to sneaking it into the printed version), I'll simply say something like: PITAWIRE Plaxico Burress, released by the Giants earlier this off-season, will be the subject of a grand jury probe into his self-shooting last November.
Or else: PITAWIRE Terrell Owens of the Bills reneged on a rental agreement for a house near Buffalo because he didn't like the fact that the real estate agent went public with the transation. Previously this off-season, the PITAWIRE ripped former Cowboys teammate Tony Romo and offensive coordinator Jason Garrett for conspiring to run him out of Dallas.
Or: PITAWIRE Brandon Marshall of the Broncos,who has a history of domestic abuse issues, has demanded to be traded.
Or: Bengals PITAWIRE Chad Johnson Ochocinco - or whatever the hell he wants to be called - said he mailed it in last year because he no longer wanted to play in Cincinnati.
... hmmm.
I like.
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Comments (7)
Kudos. Copyright that.
Well done AWTAP.
I like it.
(Assinine Writers That Assasinate Players).
I like it. Since these players seem like they need their own category.
However, I myself, really wouldnt put Anquan Boldin in that category. Besides that one game, when has he been a PITAWIRE. If I had to chose between trading for Boldin or Marshall, its Boldin hands down, Marshall has way TOOO much off the field issues.
Another name: Matt Jones, former Jags WR, he's has some off the field issues, and although he played in a smaller market, if he went to Dallas you would be hearing his name just as much as we did about Pacman
I like it. Since these players seem like they need their own category.
However, I myself, really wouldnt put Anquan Boldin in that category. Besides that one game, when has he been a PITAWIRE. If I had to chose between trading for Boldin or Marshall, its Boldin hands down, Marshall has way TOOO much off the field issues.
Another name: Matt Jones, former Jags WR, he's has some off the field issues, and although he played in a smaller market, if he went to Dallas you would be hearing his name just as much as we did about Pacman
I like it. Since these players seem like they need their own category.
However, I myself, really wouldnt put Anquan Boldin in that category. Besides that one game, when has he been a PITAWIRE. If I had to chose between trading for Boldin or Marshall, its Boldin hands down, Marshall has way TOOO much off the field issues.
Another name: Matt Jones, former Jags WR, he's has some off the field issues, and although he played in a smaller market, if he went to Dallas you would be hearing his name just as much as we did about Pacman
Laverneus Coles?
Yes, we can add Coles and Matt Jones. Thanks. Maybe even Braylon Edwards, although he doesn't say too much. At least not for the moment.