What about Bob?

Chad Ochocinco has been preparing for the upcoming season in the boxing ring, and it seems his newly found strength is getting to his head.

Here's what The Ocho posted on his Twitter page earlier this morning: "Somebody please tell Shawne Merriman thats is ass on Dec. 20th, relay the message to the rest of the D, especially Cromartie!!!!child please"

The Bengals play Merriman's Chargers Week 15 (Dec. 20) in San Diego.

Merriman caught wind of these tweets and posted his response on YouTube...which can be seen here:

(The clip was just shown on SportsCenter, by the way).

That prompted The Ocho to fire back on his Twitter page (beware some salty language on there) with these gems...

"CHILD PLEASE, is the word for the day, Shawne Merriman tryin to stop Ocho Cinco, CHILD PLEASE, better chance at finding Osama!!!"

"Headed to the boxing gym, deal with Mr. Merriman when i return, talking about ringing my neck out, yo lights gone be off permenantly!!!!"

"Shawne you better stick to making music video appearances, ring that out, this ain't what you want! Child please"

Athletes using Twitter and YouTube to spar back and forth. Remember when they used newspapers for this?

-Chris Mascaro

The Bengals' mercurial (to put it mildly) receiver offered up some more absurd, self-indulgent, and, in one case, homophobic quotes in an interview with Geoff Hobson of Bengals.com.

Hobson, one of the most dogged reporters in the business, had been calling Ochocinco for months before finally getting a return call yesterday. Ochocinco more than made up for all the lost time with quotes like this one about needing the fans to approve of him:

"I need the fans to embrace me. I know people are mad at me. I read the message boards, but I've apologized 85 times. If they can embrace me, I can spread my wings and be myself. When they're mad at me, I don't know if I can be myself. I'm an emotional guy. I want them to know that I love them and I want to win. I want to be on point with everybody on the team and win. I know I've been frustrated when we haven't won. Maybe now when I vent, I should just do it to the fans on the message boards."

And this about his relationship with quarterback Carson Palmer:

"I know people are trying to say we're mad at each other and all that, but we're good. We're like Brokeback Mountain. I'm going to be with Carson so much in July that I'm going to be the nanny (for his new twins). I'm going to babysit. We were getting down to the details. If he and the wife go out, they have to be back by three. I asked for permission to have company over."

And, finally, an admission that he stunk last year in large part because he was physically unprepared due to his desire to be traded:

"I wasn't talking to anybody because I was mad at them. If anybody was mad, it should have been them. There was nothing to say. It's all business. In our conversation I just wanted to let Marv (head coach Marvin Lewis) know what he's getting and that I've seriously been working out. Hunger has created a monster in a positive way and I was just running down some information for him. I'm a monster physically. For Marvin's sake, for (offensive coordinator Bob Bratkowski)'s sake, my teammates' sake, I had to come back in greater shape than ever."

Oh, man. What a whacko.

Not Chad Johnson.

Not Chad Ocho Cinco.

Chad Ochocinco.

Ask me if I give a Craphonso.

The Bengals will be featured on the NFL FIlms series, "Hard Knocks," which means there will be a lot of Chad Ochocinco on our HBO over during training camp.

It's certainly out of character for the Bengals to do something like this, although in at least one sense, it might be good for Ochocinco. After all, he has failed to complain his way out of Cincinnati, but national pub on a show like "Hard Knocks" will surely keep his interest. And the interest of viewers, who will treat Johnson as they would a car accident: No matter how much you try not to look, you can't help yourself.

And who knows? In Emmy-winning director Steve Sabol's capable hands, maybe Johnson will come off as an old-school tough guy along the lines of John Stallworth or Charlie Joiner.

... or maybe not.

(Photo from Cleveland.com)

Ok, maybe we're exaggerating just a tad, but I think you get the point. First it's Laveranues Coles, the former Jets receiver who shot his way out of Dodge and had to settle for the Bengals after getting minimal interest on the open market. And now it's former Pro Bowl safety Roy Williams, the ex-Cowboys' star who lately has become synonymous with being slow and dirty. Slow, as in ... can't cover worth a lick. And dirty, as in tackles from behind and often causes injuries to opposing players (see: Terrell Owens in 2004).

The NFL eventually banned the tackling technique, now referred to as the "horse collar."

The Bengals went for a blocker (hey, we actually had this one right in the mock draft after whiffing on four straight picks) who has plenty of talent but also a few questions.

Remember, Smith was suspended for his final game because he'd had illegal contact with an agent. He showed up at the combine grossly overweight, and didn't perform well at his pro day.

But the Bengals had a need at the position, and it's not entirely a surprise that Smith was the guy. We'd heard a couple weeks ago that, despite the speculation that Smith would slide, he would be as high as a top 10 pick. Six overall is pretty darn good.

More NFL draft news

At today's pre-draft press briefing, Bengals coach Marvin Lewis said the team is not trading disgruntled wide receiver Chad Ochocinco (wonder what his life would have been like had his first name really been Chadwick).

"I don't know why people continue with the speculation of moving Chad," Lewis said. "Many times we've reiterated, I don't know if we're keeping count on this, Chad's not getting moved. ... I don't know if any team that goes through a draft doesn't draft a wideout. I'm sure there will be at least 32 receivers picked in this draft by 32 teams. Chances are we probably take a wideout at some point in the draft."

You just can't make this stuff up ... Tank Johnson, who has a history of legal troubles, has signed a free-agent deal with the Cincinnati Bengals, a team whose players have had a history of legal troubles.

Wow.

-Chris Mascaro

We've been somewhat distracted with all the news surrounding Plaxico Burress, but lost in the shuffle is good news surrounding Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer.

He said at the start of the team's off-season conditioning program that is elbow is "100 percent." Palmer suffered an elbow injury against the Giants early last season, and missed nearly the rest of the year.

It's terrific news for Bengals fans, who generally haven't had much to feel good about ... oh, the last few decades or so.

...which is where the mercurial receiver seemed to be most of last season anyway.

Cincinnati's voluntary offseason training program commenced Monday, and Chad Ocho Cinco was not present.

Said Bengals' QB Carson Palmer: "I'm not worried about him; I'm worried about the guys we have here. The guys that want to be here and want to work now are the guys who are in the locker room right now and are here today."

The Bengals' top receiver (now that T.J. Houshmandzadeh is in Seattle) pulled this same stunt last season before publicly pining for a trade. It'll be interesting to see if he does the same this year.

Coming off a dismal 4-11-1 campaign, I'm sure Palmer wanted to get off to a good start with Chad Eight Five (who is coming off his worst season statistically since he was a rookie) and new receiver Laveranues Coles (who was in attendance). But, then again, Chad always has marched to the beat of a different drummer...

-Chris Mascaro

Tom Curran of NBCSports.com, covering this week's NFL owners meetings in southern California, was in the lobby of the St. Regis hotel Sunday morning when a fire alarm went off.

Reports Curran: After a few minutes, a voice came on the loudspeaker and said, “A security team has determined that there is no cause for alarm.” Standing nearby, Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis put out his arms and exclaimed, “That’s what I try to tell everyone every week."

Perfect.

Here's the rest of Curran's column, which has some good stuff from Giants GM Jerry Reese and former Raiders coach John Madden, who weighs in on the Jay Cutler mess.

That's the speculation in Cincy now that T.J. Houshmandzadeh has signed with the Seahawks.

Coles shot his way out of Dodge with the Jets last week, eschewing a $6 million guaranteed salary in 2009. He thought he'd strike it rich on the free agent market, and but so far, only the Bengals and Bills have expressed interest.

Gut feeling: Regardless of which team he signs with, only the number of years will be announced, not the value of the deal.

UPDATE: Yes, Laveranues signed. And there's a dollar amount! Adam Schefter of NFL Network reports it's a four-year, $28 million deal, although no guaranteed money is reported.

As I said earlier today, I've learned more about Super Bowl history in the past two days than I have in the previous 24 years, three months and two days of my life.

Today, I learned about two players that I never even knew existed. They will be answers in this set of Super Bowl Fun Facts...

(The first two questions came from Mike Francesa's trivia contest)...

1. The record for most receptions in a Super Bowl is 11. Four different players have achieved this mark. Who are they?

2. Who was the only Eagles player to score a touchdown in Super Bowl XV (a 27-10 loss to the Raiders)?

3. Has any team ever won a Super Bowl in its home city?

4. Who has the longest field goal in Super Bowl history?

5. Which team holds the record for most points scored in one quarter of the Super Bowl?

Enjoy!

(1998 AP Photo of Jerry Rice)

Continue reading "Super Bowl Fun Facts #2" »

The Bengals' outspoken receiver insists the team will recover from this year's nightmare season, which has been punctuated by the nearly season-long absence of quarterback Carson Palmer (elbow).

Of course, Johnson/Ocho Cinco could turn around tomorrow and say he never wants to play another down in Cincinnati after this season. But at least he is being reasonably positive, which is a refreshing change.

The Bengals play the Redskins on Sunday. That's the team that offered the Bengals a first-round pick in 2008, as well as a conditional pick that could have escalated into another first-rounder in 2009. The Bengals turned the deal down.

A huge mistake, in our view. But what do you expect from the cheapest franchise in the NFL. They could have gotten tremendous value for a 30-year-old receiver whose best days are probably behind him. Instead, they hold onto him and don't have to pay out a big salary for another first-round pick.

I suppose it's fitting that the Bengals have decided to de-activate Chad "Ocho Cinco" Johnson a day after the NFL decided to re-instate fellow whacko Pacman Jones.

Johnson was reportedly late to a meeting and got into an argument with head coach Marvin Lewis, who made the decision to pull the plug on Johnson for tonight's game against the Steelers.

Shame on Johnson.

Bigger shame on the Bengals, who stupidly decided to hold onto him in the off-season rather than trade a player who has been nothing but nutso in recent years. They could have had a first-round pick from the Redskins. Stupid, stupid, stupid not to deal him at that point.

Worth repeating: I, like you, am sick and tired of hearing, reading and writing about these nut jobs who can't seem to do the basic things that the rest of the civilized world is asked to do at their jobs.

Please. Enough.

Grow up!!

I realize Jets fans have suffered mightily these last 40 years in the wake of Joe Namath's Super Bowl win.

But it's been 40 years since the Bengals were born, and they have had far less to cheer about. It's a subject I addressed in today's newspaper.

Neil Best wrote about how the economy is impacting the sports world. It's long, it's boring, it's mostly unreadable, but here it is.

Best says there is no connection between the state of the economy and the fact that he wore a tie with toilets on it.

... but I won't believe it until I see him back in the lineup and back throwing passes with the kind of effortless motion that has been his trademark.

Palmer was held out of yesterday's game against the Browns with what was termed "an inflamed" elbow.

In quarterback-speak, that is not good. I'm hoping it's not more serious than that.

The Bengals' quarterback insists he backed off from practice late in the week because his right elbow was sore. Let's just hope sore really means sore, and not the beginning of a bigger problem for one of the league's better quarterbacks.

Palmer went from not appearing on the injury report at all to being listed as questionable, which means there's a 50-50 chance he'll play. The winless Bengals play the winless Browns on Sunday.

A couple posts back, I ran a multiple-choice on what you think of Bengals receiver Chad Johnson ... or, if you prefer, Chad Ocho Cinco ... or, if you prefer, Chad Ocho Psycho.

The choices were:

1. A terrific athletic talent whose on-field celebrations are entertaining.

2. The latest in a long line of misunderstood professional athletes.

3. A locker room cancer.

4. The best thing that ever happened to the Bengals.

5. The worst thing that ever happened to the Bengals.

6. A harmless personality who simply draws attention for attention's sake?

7. A complete doofus.

I chose No. 7 and wrote a column about it.

Please join me for a live chat tomorrow morning at 11 a.m. to discuss.

I'll be writing about the Bengals receiver for tomorrow's newspaper, but I'm curious if you have any thoughts about the young man.

He has become a somewhat controversial figure during his career (ya think?), whether it be his flamboyant style on the field, his abrasive personality in the locker room, his Mohawk haircuts ... and, oh, yes, his decision to change his last name from Johnson to Ocho Cinco.

If you prefer, simply answer one of the following multiple choice possibilities. Or else, if you care to amplify your thoughts a bit more, feel free.

The Bengals' receiver is:

1. A terrific athletic talent whose on-field celebrations are entertaining.

2. The latest in a long line of misunderstood professional athletes.

3. A locker room cancer.

4. The best thing that ever happened to the Bengals.

5. The worst thing that ever happened to the Bengals.

6. A harmless personality who simply draws attention for attention's sake?

7. A complete doofus.

Well, the Bengals receiver did change his last name - legally - to Ochocinco. And the Bengals have now allowed him to put the name on the back of his jersey. Although it's spelled Ocho Cinco on the jersey.

What do I make of all this?

I ... do ... not ... care.

Nothing we haven't known before, but Chad Johnson has made it official: He is no longer Chad Johnson. He is now Chad Ocho Cinco.

Really.

Like, legally.

As in, he changed his last name to Ocho Cinco so he can have the moniker placed on the back of his jersey.

Is there some sort of contest we can run with this? I dunno. An over-under on when Johnson draws his first penalty for excessive celebration? A prediction on when he flips out in the locker room? A prediction on when head coach Marvin Lewis' head explodes?

Check out this quote from Bengals coach Marvin Lewis when asked about the possibility of Chris Henry re-joining the team.

"I'm not interested," Lewis said at the team's annual preseason luncheon on July 22. "I don't think it would be productive for our football team. You have to be a productive part to be an NFL player, and there's responsibilities to being an NFL player. It's a privilege, it's not a right. There's a lot that comes with being an NFL football player."

Yes, there is a lot more. Unfortunately, Lewis' employer, team owner Mike Brown, doesn't see eye to eye with the head coach about just how much more. Which is why the Henry signing might ultimately be the wedge that drives Lewis out of town after the season.

Yes, this is a mess. A complete and utter mess.

The Bungles are back, baby.

(For more on the Henry mess, check out this video of Henry and Lewis talking about the signing. You will note that Lewis makes it crystal clear that this decision was Brown's all the way.)

It was just a few months ago that the Bengals, intent on cleaning up their image after several draft picks - most notably Henry - had run afoul of the law.

But now, with concerns about depth at the position in the wake of Chad Johnson's shoulder injury - voila! - the Bengals have forgiven Henry's transgressions and have brought him back.

Wonderful.

How the Bengals can tell their fans one day that they're through with misbehaving players and then turn around and take one of the most troublesome athletes of all is beyond me. An athlete who must still serve a four-game suspension due to his off-field troubles.

Oh, wait. Good intentions can only go so far when the regular season is less than three weeks away and there's a need at the position. Silly me.

Now you know why coaches HATE preseason games. Marvin Lewis is holding his breath that Johnson, who landed awkwardly on his shoulder, isn't seriously injuried.

Bengals receiver Chad Johnson, who underwent arthroscopic ankle surgery shortly after the team's final mini-camp, isn't on the practice field yet.

Neither is Plax, who is still gimpy from an ankle injury he suffered a couple weeks ago on the same ankle that was dinged all last season.

We interrupt this string of baseball posts to inform you that Bengals receiver Chad Johnson will undergo arthrsocopic ankle surgery and will be ready for the start of training camp next month.

This is ordinarily not any big deal. Then again, with Johnson, everything is a big deal. The team wanted him to get the surgery right after the season.

But Johnson has been in a snit and declined to have the procedure done until now.

At least not in an NFL uniform.

The knucklehead receiver who showed so much promise on the field with the Bengals but couldn't stay away from trouble off the field, has been suspended indefinitely by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, pending the outcome of a trial that begins June 24.

Henry faces charges of assault and criminal damage after a man accused Henry of punching him in the face and breaking his car window with a beer bottle. If Henry is acquitted, the suspension could be lifted, according to his agent Marvin Frazier. If Henry is convicted, he faces at least a one-season suspension under the league's conduct policy.

Two words if he never plays again: good riddance.

... his continued pouting about not being traded or not getting more money or not having the good sense to act like a grownup already (sorry, couldn't help it).

It's that the Bengals recommended shortly after the season that he undergo a minor surgical procedure to correct a problem in his ankle and that he has yet to do so.

Johnson showed up yesterday to the Bengals' mini-camp, although he brooded most of the time the team was on the field for two-a-days.

But the Bengals also divulged that the ankle situation is problematic. It's June. Training camp begins in a little more than a month.

And thus, we resurrect the word that applies to so many of these situations in recent weeks: oy.

Ok, so there's still a chance the former Bengals linebacker will play again.

But I'd call it infinitessimal at this point.

After all, I've never seen a guy suspended three straight seasons and come back to play.

Johnson indicated in one interview yesterday that he plans on reporting to the Bengals despite speculation he wants out and will sit out the season.

Then, in another interview, he said all options are open, that things are going swimmingly off-the-field, and that he might very well boycott the team.

Today's poor journalistic sap chronicling the events of the NFL's wackiest player is Chick Ludwig of the Dayton Daily News.

Having covered some slightly less wacko players in our time (Mark Gastineau probably comes in a close second to Chadwick Johnson), we can safely say that Ludwig and every other Bengals beat writer have enjoyed happier times in their chosen profession. Like, the times when they actually get to cover football.

In keeping with our theme this week describing the various head-scratching goings on in the NFL, we offer Ludwig et al our patented one-word salutation: oy.

A month after releasing troubled receiver Chris Henry, the Bengals have released troubled linebacker Odell Thurman.

Thurman, who led the team in tackles as a rookie in 2005, had recently been reinstated from a suspension by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. The news was first reported this morning by Profootballtalk.com.

The Bengals were concerned that Thurman, who had been suspended the last two seasons because of repeated substance abuse problems, had not spent enough time at the team's practice facility since being reinstated. Thurman did not attend the team's three voluntary workouts last week when he was in George following his grandmother's death.

"The NFL provided Odell the opportunity to earn his way back onto our team, but we have not seen the right steps taken by him," head coach Marvin Lewis said in a statement. "With our offseason work in progress and new talent added at our linebacker position, we've determined it's best to keep moving in a direction that does not include Odell."

Not necessarily.

The Bengals brought Alexander in for a visit several days ago, and the Saints kicked the tires, too.

But no deal with either team.

There has been plenty of speculation that Alexander is ticketed to go to the Bengals, but so far, the team has not made a serious attempt to sign him.

We're told by a league source familiar with the Bengals situation that they brought Alexander in partly as a look-see for the running back position, but also as a courtesy because he grew up in nearby Florence, Ky.

"From what I gather, they've got no intention of signing him at this point," the source said. "Obviously, that could change, but this might be Shaun trying to drum up a market for himself."

... so a judge has allowed him to travel outside Hamilton County, Ohio to go for a tryout.

Henry, released by the Bengals after a series of off-field troubles, will be released from electronic monitoring and house arrest so he can go to the tryout. It's uncertain which team is giving him a look.

Henry’s attorney, Perry Ancona, had previously asked Hamilton County Municipal Court Judge Rich Bernat if Henry could be allowed to try out for other NFL teams, but the request was denied until today.

“We’re willing to give him some latitude given the fact that he obviously needs to find some employment,” Bernat said.

Before Henry will be allowed to travel for tryouts, he must bring a letter from the NFL team.

Very nice story here about Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer and his younger brother trying to live out a family dream.

If you didn't know any better, you'd think Carson and Jordan Palmer were twins.

Jordan is getting a shot to become the Bengals' No. 3 QB.

Maybe not.

Then again, there will be a lot of stuff going on between now and the draft, so who knows? In any event, coach Marvin Lewis said the team hasn't received any offers. And Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who has an interest in Johnson, said he hasn't made any offers either.

In the meantime, check out some of the strident comments from Lewis, who is essentially daring Chad Johnson to sit out the season as promised.

btw, if Rupert Murdoch winds up buying Newsday, I hope he doesn't make us pose for our blogs with this kind of life-sized picture.

That's Mark Curnutte, the highly respected beat writer for the Cincinnati Enquirer.

UPDATE: The Bengals did, in fact, get a trade offer from the Redskins, and they did, in fact, decline the offer.

Whether they hold to that stance through the draft remains to be seen. If you get an offer of a first-round pick and then some for a player who does not want to be on your team and has already been a locker room menace, how do you not make a deal?

Ok, so he's said it a zillion times already. What's one more?

Honestly, I'm tired of this guy's act. Just get rid of him already. A third-round pick and a club sandwich, and be done with it.

If Carson Palmer is the real deal as a quarterback - and I believe he is - then the Bengals should do what the Packers have done all these years: Rely on the quarterback to improve the level of receivers who are young, affordable, and willing to put the team first.

... but the legal system isn't.

There is now one less thug on the Bengals' roster.

The day after troubled wide receiver Chris Henry, who had already been suspended once for his off-field troubles, the team released him.

Bengals coach Marvin Lewis said today he's prepared to go on in the event disgruntled wide receiver Chad Johnson decides to sit out the season if he's not traded.

So far, Lewis will not cave in to Johnson's demands to be dealt, although the continuing circus could very well result in an eventual trade. For now, Lewis is talking tough.

That's not too difficult, though. It's only April.

First, we'd like to thank Bengals coach Marvin Lewis for not immediately reacting to the Washington Post story the other day that indicated the Redskins were interested in trading for disgruntled Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson.

By delaying his reaction, Lewis enabled us to record an astounding number of comments on a previous post in which we sarcastically suggested that Johnson would be the missing piece for the Redskins and propel them to an unbeaten season. All this on a slow news day in the off-season.

In any event, Lewis finally did respond to the story, and said in no uncertain terms that Johnson is not on the block.

That certainly means the plot thickens, because Johnson desperately wants to get out of Cincy, where he feels unappreciated.

In the meantime, thanks again, Marvin.

We're not in the habit of sharing voice mails from our private office phone, but we had to let you in on this one.

We called in for messages a few minutes ago, and none other than Chad Johnson was on the phone. Yes, that Chad Johnson, the Bengals' receiver.

Chad had a "personal" message that began, "Hey, Bob," and he talked some smack about this weekend's game against the Jets in Cincy. He also suggested that we go to his web page on Yahoo.com - Trashtalk85.com - and check out what was going on in his world.

Take a listen and see what you think.

It's all very entertaining stuff, although we suspect the Bengals aren't too happy with Johnson's antics, especially in light of their dreadful 1-4 start. Not only that, but Johnson told the Jets media yesterday that he wouldn't do any celebrating after touchdowns until the team was at least .500. So I guess phone calls to reporters covering the visiting team doesn't qualify as drawing too much attention to himself.

Just what the Bengals need at a time like this.

We contacted Bengals' long-time public relations director Jack Brennan and asked about the voice mail, and he said the team had no comment. But it's not the first time these voice mails have surfaced before. In the days leading up to the Bengals-Patriots game earlier this season, Johnson left at least one message for a Boston writer.

We're just delighted to be on his list. Call any time, dude.

After getting waxed at home by the Patriots last night, Bengals coach Marvin Lewis was so incensed at his team's performance that he screamed at them afterward.

He could be heard by reporters outside the locker room.

"If you don't want to be on this team, please don't show up!" Lewis said. "You don't call the offense, you don't call the plays. You just play…Nowhere in the NFL do guys act like this. We've got to figure this out."

Oh, boy. This is starting to get bad. Really bad. The Bengals are 1-3 and are a miserably 6-11 over their last 17 games going back to last season. They've got plenty of talent on offense, but it doesn't help that Chad Johnson was seen on the sidelines arguing over a play with quarterback Carson Palmer. The defense? It's a mess. They can't stop anyone.

Stay tuned on this one. If Lewis doesn't get control of this team, the season could spin out of control.