What about Bob?

Nothing we haven't known before, but Chad Johnson has made it official: He is no longer Chad Johnson. He is now Chad Ocho Cinco.

Really.

Like, legally.

As in, he changed his last name to Ocho Cinco so he can have the moniker placed on the back of his jersey.

Is there some sort of contest we can run with this? I dunno. An over-under on when Johnson draws his first penalty for excessive celebration? A prediction on when he flips out in the locker room? A prediction on when head coach Marvin Lewis' head explodes?

Check out this quote from Bengals coach Marvin Lewis when asked about the possibility of Chris Henry re-joining the team.

"I'm not interested," Lewis said at the team's annual preseason luncheon on July 22. "I don't think it would be productive for our football team. You have to be a productive part to be an NFL player, and there's responsibilities to being an NFL player. It's a privilege, it's not a right. There's a lot that comes with being an NFL football player."

Yes, there is a lot more. Unfortunately, Lewis' employer, team owner Mike Brown, doesn't see eye to eye with the head coach about just how much more. Which is why the Henry signing might ultimately be the wedge that drives Lewis out of town after the season.

Yes, this is a mess. A complete and utter mess.

The Bungles are back, baby.

(For more on the Henry mess, check out this video of Henry and Lewis talking about the signing. You will note that Lewis makes it crystal clear that this decision was Brown's all the way.)

It was just a few months ago that the Bengals, intent on cleaning up their image after several draft picks - most notably Henry - had run afoul of the law.

But now, with concerns about depth at the position in the wake of Chad Johnson's shoulder injury - voila! - the Bengals have forgiven Henry's transgressions and have brought him back.

Wonderful.

How the Bengals can tell their fans one day that they're through with misbehaving players and then turn around and take one of the most troublesome athletes of all is beyond me. An athlete who must still serve a four-game suspension due to his off-field troubles.

Oh, wait. Good intentions can only go so far when the regular season is less than three weeks away and there's a need at the position. Silly me.

Now you know why coaches HATE preseason games. Marvin Lewis is holding his breath that Johnson, who landed awkwardly on his shoulder, isn't seriously injuried.

Bengals receiver Chad Johnson, who underwent arthroscopic ankle surgery shortly after the team's final mini-camp, isn't on the practice field yet.

Neither is Plax, who is still gimpy from an ankle injury he suffered a couple weeks ago on the same ankle that was dinged all last season.

We interrupt this string of baseball posts to inform you that Bengals receiver Chad Johnson will undergo arthrsocopic ankle surgery and will be ready for the start of training camp next month.

This is ordinarily not any big deal. Then again, with Johnson, everything is a big deal. The team wanted him to get the surgery right after the season.

But Johnson has been in a snit and declined to have the procedure done until now.

At least not in an NFL uniform.

The knucklehead receiver who showed so much promise on the field with the Bengals but couldn't stay away from trouble off the field, has been suspended indefinitely by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, pending the outcome of a trial that begins June 24.

Henry faces charges of assault and criminal damage after a man accused Henry of punching him in the face and breaking his car window with a beer bottle. If Henry is acquitted, the suspension could be lifted, according to his agent Marvin Frazier. If Henry is convicted, he faces at least a one-season suspension under the league's conduct policy.

Two words if he never plays again: good riddance.

... his continued pouting about not being traded or not getting more money or not having the good sense to act like a grownup already (sorry, couldn't help it).

It's that the Bengals recommended shortly after the season that he undergo a minor surgical procedure to correct a problem in his ankle and that he has yet to do so.

Johnson showed up yesterday to the Bengals' mini-camp, although he brooded most of the time the team was on the field for two-a-days.

But the Bengals also divulged that the ankle situation is problematic. It's June. Training camp begins in a little more than a month.

And thus, we resurrect the word that applies to so many of these situations in recent weeks: oy.

Ok, so there's still a chance the former Bengals linebacker will play again.

But I'd call it infinitessimal at this point.

After all, I've never seen a guy suspended three straight seasons and come back to play.

Johnson indicated in one interview yesterday that he plans on reporting to the Bengals despite speculation he wants out and will sit out the season.

Then, in another interview, he said all options are open, that things are going swimmingly off-the-field, and that he might very well boycott the team.

Today's poor journalistic sap chronicling the events of the NFL's wackiest player is Chick Ludwig of the Dayton Daily News.

Having covered some slightly less wacko players in our time (Mark Gastineau probably comes in a close second to Chadwick Johnson), we can safely say that Ludwig and every other Bengals beat writer have enjoyed happier times in their chosen profession. Like, the times when they actually get to cover football.

In keeping with our theme this week describing the various head-scratching goings on in the NFL, we offer Ludwig et al our patented one-word salutation: oy.

A month after releasing troubled receiver Chris Henry, the Bengals have released troubled linebacker Odell Thurman.

Thurman, who led the team in tackles as a rookie in 2005, had recently been reinstated from a suspension by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. The news was first reported this morning by Profootballtalk.com.

The Bengals were concerned that Thurman, who had been suspended the last two seasons because of repeated substance abuse problems, had not spent enough time at the team's practice facility since being reinstated. Thurman did not attend the team's three voluntary workouts last week when he was in George following his grandmother's death.

"The NFL provided Odell the opportunity to earn his way back onto our team, but we have not seen the right steps taken by him," head coach Marvin Lewis said in a statement. "With our offseason work in progress and new talent added at our linebacker position, we've determined it's best to keep moving in a direction that does not include Odell."

Not necessarily.

The Bengals brought Alexander in for a visit several days ago, and the Saints kicked the tires, too.

But no deal with either team.

There has been plenty of speculation that Alexander is ticketed to go to the Bengals, but so far, the team has not made a serious attempt to sign him.

We're told by a league source familiar with the Bengals situation that they brought Alexander in partly as a look-see for the running back position, but also as a courtesy because he grew up in nearby Florence, Ky.

"From what I gather, they've got no intention of signing him at this point," the source said. "Obviously, that could change, but this might be Shaun trying to drum up a market for himself."

... so a judge has allowed him to travel outside Hamilton County, Ohio to go for a tryout.

Henry, released by the Bengals after a series of off-field troubles, will be released from electronic monitoring and house arrest so he can go to the tryout. It's uncertain which team is giving him a look.

Henry’s attorney, Perry Ancona, had previously asked Hamilton County Municipal Court Judge Rich Bernat if Henry could be allowed to try out for other NFL teams, but the request was denied until today.

“We’re willing to give him some latitude given the fact that he obviously needs to find some employment,” Bernat said.

Before Henry will be allowed to travel for tryouts, he must bring a letter from the NFL team.

Very nice story here about Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer and his younger brother trying to live out a family dream.

If you didn't know any better, you'd think Carson and Jordan Palmer were twins.

Jordan is getting a shot to become the Bengals' No. 3 QB.

Maybe not.

Then again, there will be a lot of stuff going on between now and the draft, so who knows? In any event, coach Marvin Lewis said the team hasn't received any offers. And Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who has an interest in Johnson, said he hasn't made any offers either.

In the meantime, check out some of the strident comments from Lewis, who is essentially daring Chad Johnson to sit out the season as promised.

btw, if Rupert Murdoch winds up buying Newsday, I hope he doesn't make us pose for our blogs with this kind of life-sized picture.

That's Mark Curnutte, the highly respected beat writer for the Cincinnati Enquirer.

UPDATE: The Bengals did, in fact, get a trade offer from the Redskins, and they did, in fact, decline the offer.

Whether they hold to that stance through the draft remains to be seen. If you get an offer of a first-round pick and then some for a player who does not want to be on your team and has already been a locker room menace, how do you not make a deal?

Ok, so he's said it a zillion times already. What's one more?

Honestly, I'm tired of this guy's act. Just get rid of him already. A third-round pick and a club sandwich, and be done with it.

If Carson Palmer is the real deal as a quarterback - and I believe he is - then the Bengals should do what the Packers have done all these years: Rely on the quarterback to improve the level of receivers who are young, affordable, and willing to put the team first.

... but the legal system isn't.

There is now one less thug on the Bengals' roster.

The day after troubled wide receiver Chris Henry, who had already been suspended once for his off-field troubles, the team released him.

Bengals coach Marvin Lewis said today he's prepared to go on in the event disgruntled wide receiver Chad Johnson decides to sit out the season if he's not traded.

So far, Lewis will not cave in to Johnson's demands to be dealt, although the continuing circus could very well result in an eventual trade. For now, Lewis is talking tough.

That's not too difficult, though. It's only April.

First, we'd like to thank Bengals coach Marvin Lewis for not immediately reacting to the Washington Post story the other day that indicated the Redskins were interested in trading for disgruntled Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson.

By delaying his reaction, Lewis enabled us to record an astounding number of comments on a previous post in which we sarcastically suggested that Johnson would be the missing piece for the Redskins and propel them to an unbeaten season. All this on a slow news day in the off-season.

In any event, Lewis finally did respond to the story, and said in no uncertain terms that Johnson is not on the block.

That certainly means the plot thickens, because Johnson desperately wants to get out of Cincy, where he feels unappreciated.

In the meantime, thanks again, Marvin.

We're not in the habit of sharing voice mails from our private office phone, but we had to let you in on this one.

We called in for messages a few minutes ago, and none other than Chad Johnson was on the phone. Yes, that Chad Johnson, the Bengals' receiver.

Chad had a "personal" message that began, "Hey, Bob," and he talked some smack about this weekend's game against the Jets in Cincy. He also suggested that we go to his web page on Yahoo.com - Trashtalk85.com - and check out what was going on in his world.

Take a listen and see what you think.

It's all very entertaining stuff, although we suspect the Bengals aren't too happy with Johnson's antics, especially in light of their dreadful 1-4 start. Not only that, but Johnson told the Jets media yesterday that he wouldn't do any celebrating after touchdowns until the team was at least .500. So I guess phone calls to reporters covering the visiting team doesn't qualify as drawing too much attention to himself.

Just what the Bengals need at a time like this.

We contacted Bengals' long-time public relations director Jack Brennan and asked about the voice mail, and he said the team had no comment. But it's not the first time these voice mails have surfaced before. In the days leading up to the Bengals-Patriots game earlier this season, Johnson left at least one message for a Boston writer.

We're just delighted to be on his list. Call any time, dude.

After getting waxed at home by the Patriots last night, Bengals coach Marvin Lewis was so incensed at his team's performance that he screamed at them afterward.

He could be heard by reporters outside the locker room.

"If you don't want to be on this team, please don't show up!" Lewis said. "You don't call the offense, you don't call the plays. You just play…Nowhere in the NFL do guys act like this. We've got to figure this out."

Oh, boy. This is starting to get bad. Really bad. The Bengals are 1-3 and are a miserably 6-11 over their last 17 games going back to last season. They've got plenty of talent on offense, but it doesn't help that Chad Johnson was seen on the sidelines arguing over a play with quarterback Carson Palmer. The defense? It's a mess. They can't stop anyone.

Stay tuned on this one. If Lewis doesn't get control of this team, the season could spin out of control.