Campus Confidential

By Adam Abramson

How am I supposed to feel after Monday?

Lucky? Do I feel lucky that as of the end of Monday none of my friends were killed as a gunman roamed West Ambler Johnston and Norris Hall? I guess I do. I don't know. I'm just heartbroken. A friend described it as "like watching your house burn down right in front of your eyes."

I've made it no secret on this blog that I am an alumnus of Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University and I, along with the other 170,000 or so living alumni, cannot believe it happened in our beautiful corner of the world.

The last thing that would ever come to mind in a word association game with Blacksburg is dangerous. Blacksburg is the town where I could go to the grocery store and leave my car running with the windows down. It's the town where, during holiday breaks, I didn't really think to lock my apartment door because...well, it's Blacksburg. It's the town I had no problem walking around alone late on a Friday night.

As I said, I haven't heard that anyone I know was killed or injured on Monday, but I do. The dozens physically afflicted by the bad apple of the bunch are the fabric that make up the place I'll always call home. Virginia Tech isn't just a place. It's not just a college. It's me, Ryan Clark, Ty Biagas, Michael Vick, Tim Mulherin, Amie Steele, Jeremy Doehnert and everyone else who has called Blacksburg home.

It's been a long day for the Hokie Nation. I'm not lying when I say I've referred to today as Thursday four times in the first five paragraphs. I've spent the last 12 hours in a lethargic daze, basically just trying to make sense of this all. But I'll never be able to.

When the sun rises in Blacksburg on Tuesday (it took me two minutes to realize I originally typed Friday), everyone will wake up and brace for the list of names that will inevitably be released and the hodgepodge of emotions we've experienced Monday will happen all over again. Although I won't be at the services and gatherings Tuesday, I'm there. I know I'll be there because I was there Monday. I was there in the WAJ, the building I called home for July 2005 (two floors below the shooting). I was in Norris, where I sat next to Reba Canada in calculus every Tuesday and Thursday the second semester of my sophomore year. I'll be there tomorrow.

I'm not worried about where Virginia Tech goes from here. The spirit of the 33 killed is amongst all of us. They are Hokies. They're now sadly immortalized. Yes, VT now faces some tough questions, but there are few stronger communities than the Blacksburg-Virginia Tech kinship. With the spirit of the departed, Tech will bounce back from this stronger and more full of love than before, if possible.

The outpouring of support from everyone has been tremendous and Blacksburg will not forget it.

Not sure who said this, but I came across it a few times Monday: "This is a tragedy in American history. So for today, forget any and all of your college affiliations. For today, we are all Hokies."