"We're looking for Pineola," I said, giving the town an extra syllable.

"That's Pine-ola," the man said.

"No wonder I couldn't find it."

After he told me where it was, I asked how far we were from Boone. "Did I pronounce that right?" I asked. "Now I may take offense at that," he said, almost smiling.

He'd been here since 1973. "This place is paradise," he said.

"Where are you from originally?" I asked. "Charlotte." "I meant the town, not the womb." (Actually, I didn't say that.)

He asked where I was from. "Originally, New Jersey." "That's your problem," he said. "Half the people here are from New Jersey. They go to Florida first and then come up here."

"Guess where I live now," I said. He gave me a perfect "Lord-help-us" look.

Give it your best shot: Where is Tom Swick?